FTB!

Any ideas? (Does anyone even look here anymore?)

2006-03-28T16:46:00.000-08:00

Ok I know I dont post on here at all anymore, but I am planning on getting back into it again very soon. I am trying to think of a direction to go with this thing or a theme" to follow. I thought of a couple things, but alas someone else is doing those things and I dont want to rehash the same things that others are doing. So I am looking for some input for a direction to go with this. Any ideas anyone?

#3

2006-02-18T14:55:00.000-08:00

Five years ago today I was sitting in my friends house at Quantico Marine Corps Base watching the Daytona 500 and cheering on the #15 NAPA Chevy (Michael Waltrip). Its the last lap and the boys are heading into turn 4 when "it" happened. As Michael was taking the checkered flag, the famous black #3 Goodwrench Chevy smacked the wall and my favorite sport lost one of the most influential drivers in NASCAR history.

I had grown to dislike Dale Earnhardt over the years. Although he had been one of my two favorite drivers as a kid ("The King" Richard Petty being the other) I just found myself rooting against him more and more the older I got. Now I sit here 5 years later and I miss Dale and everything that he brought to NASCAR. He was known to be overly aggressive and on more than one occasion wrecked out a superior car to win races. The funny thing is if he had been doing what he had always done before, Dale would probably be with us still today. Anyone that had watched NASCAR for more than a couple of years knew that the Dale that was blocking out Sterling Marlin and Kenny Schrader so that his DEI drivers could fight for the win, was not the old Dale that so many people either loved or hated.

I don't really know where I was trying to go with this post. I just felt compelled to give my tribute to the only other driver other than Richard Petty to win 7 Winston Cup Championships (I refuse to call our past champions NEXTEL Cup Champions). Even though I have kind of boycotted NASCAR for the past 2 years (I hate the new points system), racing hasn't been the same without that black #3 terrorizing the competition. I plan on actually watching the Daytona 500 tomorrow and I hope that NASCAR will do something classy (I know that's a lot to ask from a bunch of "rednecks" right?!?!) to commemorate "The Intimidator".

I guess that's it for now. I'm not sure how often I will be back to update this blog. I have kind of lost interest in it and I guess without a "direction" to go in I may lose interest completely before too long. Take care all.

Shoot me now!

2005-11-14T15:01:00.000-08:00

Sorry for taking so long between posts but our internet service blows here at the hotel. We were down for damn near a week and the fucktard that does the internet maintenance here couldnt figure out that the jack in our room was fucked up even when I told him it was. I hate fuckers that think they know everything just vecause they have a god damn title.

Things havent been any better here in the hotel since my last post. I am so sick of this damn room it aint funny. I cant wait until Raven is done her orientation and gets assigned a shift. I got to get out of this damn room and get back to working again. Everyone around the hotel thinks I am so fucking lucky to get to sit around here and all I want to do is get the fuck out of here.

It is looking like we may not be in the house as soon as we had thought. Im not going to go into the whys of it because it is too much to explain, but there is a possiblilty that we wont be in the house until January. We should know for sure in the next few days, but if they say we gotta wait then we need to find a place to stay until then. #1 Raven only gets reimbursed for 30 days of hotel. #2 I cant even imagine staying in this little fucking room for any longer than I have to.

Well Im gonna roll for now. I have some new pics of the house that I need to post and I will let you all know when they are up. I might post some of my boys too. By the way my middle son just turned seven on Saturday and believe it or not the ex (a.k.a. "the bitch") actually invited me Raven and her kids to his party at her house. It was kind of a bust, but thats what I expected. She never could give any of the kids a decent fucking party, but there really was no excuse for it this time. If we hadnt of gone he would have had like 2 kids there besides his brothers. Oh well. We will make up for it when I get him again. We promised to take him back to Sea World and he is also getting one of those Stingray bikes that he has been bugging me for ever since his older brother got one. Well fuck thats a pretty long paragraph considering I was "gonna roll". Im out.

QOUTE OF THE DAY

"You're perfect yes its true, but without me you are only you" - "Midlife Crisis" by Faith No More from the CD Angel Dust

Hotel living blows too!

2005-11-02T09:30:00.000-08:00

Right off the bat I gotta say that hotel living sucks ass! I have been in this place for a total of 5 days as of tonight and it is driving me fucking nuts! For a "suite" this place sure as hell is small. "Seperate bedroom"? If they call having a set of double doors that wont stay shut much less lock a seperate bedroom then I guess thats what we got.

Ok now that I got a paragraph of bitching out of the way I can now let you all know that Raven and I are now safely in our new "home town" and are just waiting on the house to be finished. We went and saw it on Friday and I gotta tell you those pictures do it no justice at all. The house itself is huge, but the backyard is small as fuck. Once I get a pool and deck back there it will be pretty much useless for anything other than swimming, grilling, and drinking beer. Well fuck. I guess thats a good thing now that I think about it. No yard = no mowing!

Well we are going to run back over and get some more pics of it now that the sod and fence are done. According to the real estate dude we will be closing on it by the 28th. We are going to try and push that up a bit because I would like to try and get moved in before our time is up here in the hotel. That also will depend on when her stuff gets here. Fuck it. One way or another we will make it work. Im outta here for now and I will be able to check back here quite often now that the fuckers finally figured out why our internet access wasnt working in our room.

Moving blows

2005-10-28T06:41:00.000-07:00

Well I figured I would jump on here real quick before I pack up the computer since I am heading out for the new home today. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know. Why the hell am I waiting until the last minute right? Well considering the fact that I do most of my day to day shit on the computer it had to be the last thing to go. I actually asked my phone company/ISP to make sure they didnt cut my service until the end of the business day just in case I get stuck here a little longer then I planned on today.

As the title of my post states, MOVING BLOWS! I hate doing this shit. Yes the pay off at the end is worth it, but it still sucks ass doing this shit. I was figuring it out last night and since 1992 I have moved at least 16 times that I can think of (including my current move). Now most of those were during my Marine Corps time, but holy fuck thats alot of moving. Hopefully this is the last one for at least a few years. I guess we will have to see how long Raven is able to put up with my ass before kicking me the hell out.

Thats it for now. I really need to get my ass moving. Im not sure how long it will be before I get back on here. Hell it may only be a day or two depending on how many problems we have with the interent service at the hotel (our house isnt done yet). See ya.

I had to come back and add a "goodbye" to Crazy Dan since I obviously hurt his sensitive feelings by not saying it. Hell how can ya not like a guy that uses words like fucktard? And I thought it was only I that said shit like that. See ya CD.

Last 2 days of hell

2005-10-26T06:26:00.000-07:00

I had planned on posting every friggin day during my last week here in Redneckville, Tx, but it just didnt happen. No fucking shit huh? Well Im down to one full day left here and with a couple of exceptions I have managed to get around and say goodbye to everyone that I give a flying fuck about. I have been trying to get out to that shithole I used to work at to take care of those "exceptions" and so far it just aint happened. I know I thanked you rednecks out there at Polyscrap already but in case I dont make it out there "Adios Fuckers"!

I guess Im going to have to wait until after I get settled in at my new joint to bring up some of the topics I had wanted to discuss this week. I hope you all have a kick ass halloween. Me? I'll be at either Six Flags or Sea World for one of the deals that they have going on. I may not be able to post for a few days, but I'll be back soon with updates from the BIG CITY! Im out.

QUOTE OF THE DAY(Its a long one today)
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: "How tall are you private"?
Cowboy: "Sir, five foot nine, sir"!
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: "Five foot nine? I didn't know they stacked shit that high! You tryin' to squeeze an inch in on me somewhere, huh"?
Cowboy: "Sir, no sir"!
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: "Bullshit. It looks to me like the best part of you ran down the crack of your momma's ass and ended up as a brown stain on the mattress! I think you been cheated! Where in the hell are you from anyway, private"?
Cowboy: "Sir, Texas, sir"!
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: "Holy dog shit! Texas? Only steers and queers come from Texas, Private Cowboy. And you don't look much like a steer to me so that kinda narrows it down. Do you suck dicks"?
Cowboy: "Sir, no sir"!
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: "Are you a peter puffer"?
Cowboy: "Sir, no sir"!
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: "I'll bet you're the kinda guy that would fuck a person in the ass and not even have the goddamn common courtesy to give him a reach-around. I'll be watching you".

- Conversation between GySgt Hartman (R. Lee Ermey) and Pvt Cowboy (Arliss Howard) from the movie "Full Metal Jacket".

Why I want out.

2005-10-22T12:44:00.000-07:00

Ok I have been getting this same question a lot lately ("Why you want to leave here?")and since my last couple posts have been kinda sappy (except that CD/goat pic!) I figured I would get some bitchin' out there since that's the only way I can really answer that question. Besides I got a perfect example that actually happened today that pisses me off!

I live in a town that has somewhere around 1300 (yes that is one thousand three hundred) people in it. Now you got to remember that I am originally from Baltimore, Maryland and you can find more people than that in a damn apartment complex in B-More. I was also used to being able to get whatever I wanted or needed no matter what day of the week it is or what time of day or night it was. Want to remodel your kitchen on a Sunday at 10pm? Well Home Depot was 10 minutes away and open 24 hours a day, seven days a week! Cant get over that craving for steamed crabs at 3am? Well the grocery stores are open 24/7 too and they actually carried SEAFOOD!!

So I am sitting here today trying to figure out a good way to secure my garage after I leave for the new house. Now there isn't really all that much out there, but I don't want anyone messing around out there either so a friend of mine and I figured out a great way to do it that is also inexpensive. We take some measurements and I am going to run to the hardware store to get what we need to do it. Well fuck me. Its 12:03pm on a Saturday and guess what? The fucking hardware store closed at 12:00! What kind of bullshit is that? Its Saturday. It aint Sunday (not that I think it should close early on Sunday either). You know most people work a pretty normal and routine Monday-Friday 9-5 deal which means they do any house repairing/remodeling on the weekends. Now who the fuck remembers every little thing they need for a project? Or who doesn't have something a little off and need to exchange it? So would someone please tell me why the fuck the hardware store that is only open until 5 on weekdays and is closed on Sundays would want to close at 12 on a god damn Saturday?!?!

Now that may seem like a trivial thing to most of you and to be perfectly honest it is to me too. However when you add up all the "trivial" things around here like this one, it drives me absolutely fucking nuts. I could go on with some of the other things like this that I don't like about the area, but honestly it doesn't matter anymore. Six days from this very moment I will be back in the big city. Granted it wont be MY city of Baltimore, but I will be in a city none the less. A place with REAL stores (who the fuck ever heard of "Duckwalls"?), REAL entertainment (sorry getting drunk and sodomizing farm animals aint for me, no offense Crazy Dan!), and hopefully a REAL job (no offense guys some of you got good jobs but you gotta admit there aint many of them around here) if I decide not to go back to college. It would be nice to live somewhere that I can stop, sit down, and order a cold beer. You know like a BAR!! Can you believe that this place doesn't even have a bar?!? Sure there's three places to buy beer and one (soon to be two) place to buy liquor a town over, but no bar. Gotta love them "bible beating" christians (and I mean the crazys Phred, not ones like you!). Their hearts are in the right place I guess. I just think their wiring isn't quite up to code if ya know what I mean.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know I started rambling on again. So what?!?! If you know me then you gotta know to expect that. I mean fuck if someone would pay me to talk I would be #1 on the Fortune 500 list. I guess I will leave it at that for today.

QUOTE OF THE DAY

"They took the bar. The whole FUCKING bar!" - John "Bluto" Blutarsky (John Belushi) from "Animal House"

Photographic evidence?

2005-10-21T15:32:00.000-07:00

Could this be how Crazy Dan's goat fetish started?

T wrote this?!?!

2005-10-21T08:37:00.000-07:00

Today makes it officially one week until my move out of what a city boy would call hell. Now I was going to go off on a totally different subject today (Scientology, and I thought Christianity was a stretch), but decided instead to take a moment to do something that I feel I must do before I leave. Some of the people this is directed at will see this and some of them may not, but after todays post no one can say that I am a heartless uncaring asshole ever again. And if you still think that I am at the end of this well all I can say is..... well..... fuck you.

Now Im not going to do this in any particular order, but I do owe many people in this area a "shout out" or alot of "thank yous" for things they have done for me and in some cases the things they did for my kids. Hell for some its both even. Since I know who some of the first people to read this are going to be Im going to start with them. Im sure I am forgetting people, but hey if you know me you know I forget shit all the time so you shouldnt be surprised. Without any further ado, here we go:

:p fuzzbox - Thanks for giving me a job when I was at one of the lowest points in my life and also for listening to my bullshit when I was having troubles with my ex. Thanks for giving me time to do things that I needed to do and also for all the pointers on starting my new life with my soon-to-be step-children.

clutchputt - Thanks for keeping me sane (well I guess you cant keep someone sane that isnt sane huh?) at work and for being one of the few people I really felt comfortable talking to about some of the shit I was going through. Actually "bucket boy" should be thanking you for keeping me from killing his sorry ass!

Phred - Thanks for making it worth going to work when we were on day shift. There are times where I dont think I would have kept going on at that god damn place if it wasnt for your wisdom. You always know just what to say to make someone feel a little better about this fucked up world we live in. I may fuck with you about being an "old fucker", but in all honesty to me you are just older and wiser than I and I am happy that our paths crossed and I got to know you.

S.T. a.k.a. "Midget" - Thanks for letting me get away with all the fucking around I did at work and convincing me to stick it out when I had gotten to the point where I almost gave up. Im sure my ex would thank youto since she would have stopped getting child support if you had let me roll out.

The Rice, Stone, and Braly families - Thanks for accepting this big city yankee boy and helping me get on my feet when I first moved to Texas. Without you my children wouldnt have had a place to stay or food to eat when things fell apart right after we got here. I will never forget or be able to repay you for your hospitality or the things that you all did for me and my boys.

Ed C. - Thanks for the help when times were tough (both mentaly and monetarily) and for being one of the best employees I ever had (even though we all know you didnt need that damn job!).

Mike & Christy B. - Thanks for lots of weekends sharing good food, cold beer, and friendship.

Raven - Thank you for everything. For helping me pick myself up and making me realize there are better things, times, and people out there. For sticking by me when anyone else would have given up on me. For keeping me "afloat" for about a year now. For showing me that I am not the hard hearted, uncaring, self centered son of a bitch that my ex had convinced me that I was and for making me into the person I am today. For showing me that love, for and from someone other than your children, truly does exist and for so many other things that I wish I had the time to say right now.

AND LAST BUT CERTAINLY NOT LEAST.....

P, B, & J - What can I say? If it wasnt for my three incredible sons I wouldnt be here today to be thanking anyone and I never would have met Raven again. When your mom took you three from me my whole world came to an end. I didnt care and really didnt want to go on until I realized that without me you guys would never have a chance at ever having a "normal" life and would never know how important and loved you three are. I just hope that you know that everything I do and everything that happens in my life is because of you.

Me & Raven and some of you have already begun making plans for this, but any of you I listed above are welcome in our new home. Just keep in touch and let us know when you are coming. Keep in mind we have Six Flags, Sea World, Schliterbahn (sp?), the Alamo (for you rednecks), tons of fine "adult" establishments (Mmmmmm...... boobies), the riverwalk, and a bunch of other shit too.

(In case it wasnt obvious anyone in italics is someone not on here and those that are hyperlinked are people I know are on blogger. Oh and dont worry my regularly scheduled bitching will begin again tomorrow!)

QUOTE OF THE DAY

"All we need is excess and ecstasy" - Drowning Pool's "Hate" from the "Desensitized" cd

Im Back

2005-10-19T17:04:00.000-07:00

Yes everyone your friend "Darling Dinky Bunky Boo" is back! Wasnt that a great thing to come back to? I mean what the fuck? But thats ok cause hey, Im marrying her so she can call me whatever the hell she wants I guess. That of course means I can call her whatever I want to as well! Give me time Ill come up with a good one for ya Raven. Besides all that shes the one that makes all the money so what do I care?! Aint that right R?

Well Im not going to go off on any rants or bitch sesions today because Im still not at 100% and if I cant put my all into my bitching then I just aint doing it. I cant go into a bitch sesion half assed ya know? I will however take a moment to say that I had a long but pretty kick ass weekend with the hellions. I managed to get in a little bit of each of the three soccer games since they were all at the same time. All three of their teams won and all three of them had a little or alot of impact on those wins. After that things kind went to shit, but hey at least I saw them. Hell it had been over a month because of that fucking car of mine.

Spent the night in a Country Inn over near the ex and they ended up having some redneck concert out behind the place. How do you guys listen to that shit? There were like five different bands that went on (trust me I heard them announce every fucking band) and they all played the same god damn songs! Or at least they all sounded the same. Fuck it. What do I know right? Im just a damn yankee and us city boys just dont get it I guess.

Sunday was spent going to the park and movies and such with the three hellions. Stopped at Best Buy and it just occured to me that having three boys that love racing and video games as much as me is a good thing. Raven had suggested taking them there to see what they might want for xmas and this is great cause I am... I mean they are going to get some great stuff!

Somewhere along the way I manged to pick up some kind of nasty fucking virus or something. I got about 15 minutes away from home (its 5 hours at least from there to here) and just couldnt keep it in anymore. The critters out there at that rest stop must of ate good Sunday night. And damn that pizza sure tasted better going down then it did coming back up. Today is the first that I have really been able to get up and do anything. I move in like 9 damn days and I still got all this shit to pack. Good thing I own this house and aint gotta worry about how it looks when I leave!

Well I didnt rant or bitch, but I did ramble on about absolutely nothing. You try laying in bed for like 2 1/2 fucking days (well honestly about 12 hours of that was praying to the porcelain gods) and see how thrilled you are to actually sit at your computer again! Ahhhh fuck I need a quote dont I? Well fuck...... ooooooo I thought of a good one. Oh and someone suggested that I start giving what the quotes are from so that those of you that dont know them can check them out for yourselves. As I am sure you will soon realize my favorite director/writer is Kevin Smith so I will be stealing shit from his works alot. Since some of you are not familiar with Kevins work and also because I wont always use his stuff, I will start noting where the quotes are from with todays QOTD. DDBB is out you'se guys.

QUOTE OF THE DAY

"All every woman really wants, be it mother, senator, or nun, is some serious deep-dickin'". - Banky Edwards (Jason Lee) from "Chasing Amy"

Invasion of T

2005-10-15T08:36:00.000-07:00

WASSUP YO!? I'm playing and thought I'd step into your realm and post a lil sumpinsumpin for ya since you're off doing the soccer dad thing... that and I'm bored and have nobody to talk to! I should be cleaning but who the hell wants to clean on a saturday?! :-) Two weeks and counting - I can't stand it!! I am gonna be all over you doing many nasty things to you - can you stand it?!?! Don't be scared! I'll try not to be too rough on ya ;-)

I love you Darling Dinky Bunky Boo!!

Women Behind Bars?

2005-10-11T18:03:00.000-07:00

Ok I tried to post something last night and of course after making it into one hella long post a little glitch fucked the whole thing up. Im gonna try this again about the same topic only because this shit is just one of those things that you guys gotta see.

So Im checking out the site of what will soon be my favorite radio station 99.5 KISS over in SA and I find this section called "Babe of the Day". This of course got my curiousity up and I checked it out. Not bad. Its sponsored by Adult Video Megaplexxx so of course most of the babes are from the porn industry. Well as you look around the page a bit you will find a link for Women Behind Bars and Im thinking, "oh yeah bartender babes in various stages of undress". Dude all I can say is, "WHAT THE FUCK"?

Im sure you know what Im talking about by now cause Im sure you perverted fuckers have clicked that link already! Now dont get me wrong I dont really think there is anything wrong with this site or the idea behind it, but I cant help but think that some dude somewhere is going to be sorry he ever visited that site. Yeah everybody needs some lovin', but damn that just seems strange hooking up with some chick that is in jail. What the fuck kind of search criteria do they have on that site? Can you imagine some guy sitting there thinking, "Nah I dont think I want a murderer, but a chick convicted of manslaughter is ok. It aint like she planned to kill the guy". Only in the USA guys.

On another note I now find myself out of a job. I worked for a company called PolyScrap Inc. and I was one of several people that found themselves laid-off today. Not a major loss for me (well other than having no income!) because as most of you know I HATED that damn place with a passion. It was alot like my feelings towards where I live right now. I hated it, but I met some great people there. On the other hand I met some really worthless cocksmoking assholes there too ("5 Gallon Bucket Boy" being one of them). It is pretty shitty timing considering I should be moving within a few weeks, but life goes on and with any luck I will get through this unscathed.

QUOTE OF THE DAY

"No more than a hundred empty heads make one wise man, will a heroic decision arise from a hundred cowards"

Vagary

2005-10-09T11:22:00.000-07:00

Ok all of the fucks I work with have finally convinced me to actually use this damn thing. You happy now Phred you old fucker?!?! Now you can leave me some comments and talk shit!! Any way, since I am now on my way out of this hole in the fucking wall area of Texas (no offense Phred, :P Fuzzbox, ClutchPutt, or anyone else I know from this area, but I am a CITY boy NOT a country boy) I figure this will be a way to keep in touch with all you redneck fuckers I have come to know. Now before any of that gets taken the wrong way let me say that as much as I don't like it where I am living right now I have met some of the greatest people in my nearly 4 years of being here. Bottom line I guess is that I wont miss the area at all, but I will miss some of the people a lot.

Well that started getting too sappy sounding so I'm done with that shit. I'm not going to do any bitching since this is my first post on this blog and I am trying to come up with an idea for a daily "item" kind of like the GOTD over at West Texas Rocks and at Blugstuff. I might get into something like that later on, but for now I think I am going to go with some quotes. These will probably come from movies most of the time and will most likely be funny, but who knows what other bullshit I might throw in the mix. So without any further bullshit from me here's my first "Quote of the Day":

"I mean what's your encore? Do you like anally rape my mother while pouring sugar in my gas tank?!?!"